S.O.S.

You know, I really shouldn't let small things get to me. I really shouldn't. But on Saturday I got a bit perturbed by the series of lunch tickets on which were scrawled "SOS," literally sauce on side and meaning no dressing on the salad, to put it in a dish so that the customer can dispense it herself. Herself is appropriate here: I can't remember the last time a guy ordered a salad SOS.

We all know why we send out so many salads SOS. It's because Jane Customer has conned herself into thinking that she can control the calories better if she dresses the salad greens herself. Mainly what I see happening is that we send out an espresso cup of dressing, about 2 times what we would normally put on a salad, and Jane proceeds to put a little bit on the salad. And then because she has no way to mix the salad, the greens below the top layer have no dressing and Jane applies more dressing, again and again, until she has consumed twice the calories that she would have if we dressed the salad properly for her.

I know that we have all experienced salads in so-so dining establishments in which the greens were drowned in dressing. This is a pet peeve of mine and so we work very hard to dress our salads as lightly as possible, so I guess what really irritates me the most is that when Jane orders SOS, it is generally a signal that she doesn't trust us. Why is she eating in my restaurant if she doesn't trust me?

The other irritant is that I know that the salad with the dressing on the side will not be as good as if we dressed it in the kitchen, and therefore, it could reflect badly on my food.

Anyway, it is a small thing and I shouldn't really care about it. So what if the customer consumes double the dressing? That's just my little revenge for ordering SOS.