It's the end of January and like the end of every January, I am absolutely sick and tired of paperwork. This is the month when the business runs me and not vice versa.
It's not enough to have to close the month of December, our fourth quarter, and our fiscal year at one time, is it? No, I also have to clear out the old files and update all my spreadsheets for the new year, all at the same time.
Did I mention annual reports to ABC about alcohol sales and purchases, final reports to the states of Virginia and Wild Wonderful about withholding taxes, keeping Uncle happy with his share of forms, W-2s, new W-4s, etc.
And you accountants out there, you like this??? You really do, don't you? You're twisted, you know.
And to top it off, this is the time of year when insurance companies love to audit the books to make sure that we're not hiding payroll for lower workman's comp premiums and to make sure that we're doing all we can to keep them from paying out a dime.
Just yesterday, I had to spend the afternoon with an insurance suit answering such wonderful questions as:
What is your drug testing policy? [This is a restaurant, dude. What do you think it is? Many employees test them often.]
Do you have yellow pylons to notify customers of a wet floor? [No, we have a mop.]
Why doesn't your Ansul system (fire suppression system) have an inspection tag on it? [I don't know; here's the 800 number for my contractor. Please feel free to call them and ask.]
Anyway, I am sick and tired of all this crap and I just want to get in the kitchen and do what I do best: cook and create. The poor folks who booked a tasting for this weekend have no idea just how sick and tired I am and just how lucky they are going to be to get me when I am cooking pissed off. It just could be their lucky day.